I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize