My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
