It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize