Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
