Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
