yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Can I color on your dick again?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
