Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
