people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
