Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
