So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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