Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
