Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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