am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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