If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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