Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
