i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
