i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
