saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
