The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
