She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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