omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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