i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You may now shotgun with the bride
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
