Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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