I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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