Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
