So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
