There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
