whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize