No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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