He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
