Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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