go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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