I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
