Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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