I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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