I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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