he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
