# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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