Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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