Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
