I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
