Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
