Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
