he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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