Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
