So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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