i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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