Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
