she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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