I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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