we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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