My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
