Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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