just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
