4 words: hood of his car
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
