You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
