what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
