Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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