guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I supernannyed him into submission
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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