Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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