I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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