..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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