After last night, I could never be a politician.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
