Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
