He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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