you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize