we have pet lesbian snakes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She even gives head with a lisp.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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