Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
